The Days That Belonged to Us

[seokmonsters]

Pairing: Xiumin/Baekhyun
Side pairing(s): none
Rating: PG
Word Count: 12K
Warnings: none
Summary: Sometimes, it seems like they're just friends living under the same roof, and other times, it feels like there's something in their unspoken words and secret smiles.

Author's Notes: This is somewhat based off of the Chinese movie My Old Classmate. Also, there will (probably) be a sequel.



They’ve been through these alleyways so many times that Baekhyun has no trouble finding his way in the dark. He runs quickly over the uneven ground, his footsteps falling in time with the sets of footsteps in front of him and behind him. This is a rhythm that they’ve built up over the past few years, the three of them running together through the streets in the middle of the night. Baekhyun is in the middle, with Kyungsoo in front of him and Jongdae behind him.

They can’t afford to talk, and they can barely even see each other, but they’ve done this long enough that Baekhyun can hear exactly when Kyungsoo falters, his pace marginally slower.

Baekhyun stops, sliding into the shadows behind a wall as he watches Kyungsoo. His pulse is too loud in his own ears for him to hear anything, but he knows that Kyungsoo wouldn’t have stopped without reason. Behind him, he can hear Jongdae stopping as well, finding a place to hide as they wait for Kyungsoo. Between the three of them, Kyungsoo has always had the sharpest sense of hearing.

Sure enough, a few seconds later, floodlights illuminate the streets. Baekhyun holds his breath, waiting for the uniformed officer to walk past them. He counts slowly to five after the officer has moved on before he exhales, slumping against the wall. That had been too close of a call, especially considering how close they’d been to crossing the border into their district.

“You okay?” Jongdae whispers. He’s only a few meters away, but Baekhyun can barely see him.

Baekhyun holds three fingers up in an “okay” symbol. He opens his mouth to say something else, but Kyungsoo starts moving again, his footsteps barely audible in the dead silence of the night.

The alleys end abruptly, the pavement underfoot immediately replaced by grass. This is the part that Baekhyun hates the most—the clearing that they have to cross before they’re safe within their district again. There’s nothing here to protect them, nowhere to hide, and Baekhyun has always been scared that this would be the part they’d get caught. The last part of the journey was always the hardest, when everything came down to running across the last three hundred meters without getting caught.

They've only had a few close calls before, but there are many rumors about this place. It’s said that there’s been more bloodshed on this patch of land than throughout the rest of the city combined. Crossing the border without being given a pass and going through security is strictly forbidden. The government does as good of a job patrolling the border as it can, but there are only so many officials that can be in an area at the same time.

Kyungsoo pauses just within the shadows of the last building, waiting for Jongdae and Baekhyun to catch up to him. Baekhyun counts off the seconds in his head, taking deep breaths to calm himself. It’s almost impossible to determine where the nearest government official is. There’s about a ninety percent chance that they won’t get caught, but they’ve defied that statistic too many times already.

Kyungsoo turns to look at them, an unspoken question in his eyes, and Jongdae and Baekhyun both nod.

They get into position, putting enough distance between them that their fingers would be touching if they held out their arms. Another moment, and they're off, racing over the grass, their feet pounding loudly against the ground.

Baekhyun loses track of distance and time, his eyes focused on the destination, on the trees just ahead of them. The wind rushes loudly in his ears, almost like the sound of a bullet leaving a gun, but he doesn't dare look back. He's still running at full speed when he gets into the woods. Baekhyun almost trips over a branch, but Jongdae catches him before he hits the ground.

"Careful," Jongdae says, his laugh too loud in the quiet air. Baekhyun flinches, only relaxing when Jongdae throws an arm around his shoulder.

Kyungsoo turns around to frown at them, gesturing for them to follow him. They're out of immediate danger now, but they're still breaking rules by being out after curfew.

It's harder going through the forest without making a sound. There are branches and leaves scattered irregularly over the ground, crunching loudly underfoot as they walk down the barely formed path. Jongdae still has his arm around Baekhyun's shoulder, making it difficult for Baekhyun to move around.

The trees thin gradually until they're standing before a clearing, a small garden meant to feed half their neighborhood. A little further out, there are rows of metal boxcars, sitting motionlessly on the tracks. The sides of the boxcars are rusted, the graffiti visible in the dim light, but it's home.

Baekhyun steps away from Jongdae, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to tame the windblown strands. "Ready?"

"We're so dead," Jongdae mutters, looking up at the brightening sky overhead. The first rays from the weakening sun are already painting the sky a lighter shade of gray.

Baekhyun leads the way this time, sliding the door to the boxcar open. There's a candle flickering in the corner of the room, casting just enough light that Baekhyun can see the person sitting by the door.

"Why are you back so late?" Minseok asks, standing up from the chair.

Baekhyun can hear Jongdae cursing softly under his breath, but he puts on his brightest smile, meeting Minseok's eyes. "I didn't know the sun would rise so early. We got a lot of stuff," he adds.

Minseok stares at him for a moment before turning away with a sigh. "Put them in the back of the house."

It hadn't been easy breaking in and stealing appliances from the stores. But the things they'd taken are small and fit in their pockets without getting in the way when they run. Minseok always says that they could survive without them, heavily discouraging their nighttime adventures, but Baekhyun knows that he appreciates their efforts.

Sometimes, Baekhyun will see Minseok using the sharp blade that they'd gotten for him. Other times, it's more subtle, in the small smile that Minseok gives him, in the way Minseok squeezes his hand as Baekhyun follows him into the kitchen and helps him prepare breakfast.

It's Minseok's way of saying thank you, and Baekhyun knocks his elbow against Minseok's as he reaches for a bowl to let him know that he understands. There's always been more to going on their raids than survival, even more than the thrill that it provides. Baekhyun hides the other reasons in the space between their fingers as Minseok slips a pair of chopsticks into his hands and in the brightness of Minseok's smile under the dawn's light.



The date of the race is written in red paint on the school's walls, the six numbers clearly visible to anyone walking by. No one says anything about it and it's gone the next morning, but it had been there long enough.

The races are just another part of their life, just as the raids are. They have many races throughout the year, mostly small ones between close friends, but the ones that are written on the school walls are a bigger deal. Winners usually receive a reward of some sort.

It's a way of showing off, not just in terms of athletic capability. It's also a measure of how well off one is, as the main event is bicycle racing. Having a good bicycle is almost impossible without resources obtained from raids and a little bit of creativity.

Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Kyungsoo had spent nearly the whole year working on their bikes, making little adjustments here and there to the scraps of metal they'd put together. They've been over the course often enough that Baekhyun could bike over it in the dark.

It's always different on the day of the race. The starting and ending points are crowded with people, most of them onlookers. The unofficial age for the competitors is between fifteen and eighteen, but Baekhyun knows that there are always some people who will defy the rules.

Jongdae had been only fourteen when he'd joined Baekhyun on his first race, slipping into the competitors' ranks with a bright smile. It's not like anyone bothers enforcing definite rules, anyway.

Baekhyun exhales slowly as he walks his bike up to the starting line. The lack of rules means that sometimes, competitors are pushed off the track. He and Jongdae situate themselves on either side of Kyungsoo, an unspoken agreement to protect the youngest.

These races aren't just about being able to navigate around the curves and bends of the obstacle track. It's more important being able to find a place at all on the crowded lanes. Baekhyun can feel the whisper of dozens of other bodies around him, almost intimidating in their presence alone.

He stares ahead at the track, waiting for the whistle to sound. The sound of the whistle is almost drowned out by the screams and screech of tires as they take off.

It's hard to determine anything during the first two hundred meters, until they go around the first turn. Baekhyun sees Jongdae pass by them, near the front of the crowd. He stays next to Kyungsoo, an unspoken compromise that he and Jongdae has agreed to when they'd first brought Kyungsoo with them to a race.

Kyungsoo has proven many times that he doesn't need their protection, but it's almost second nature for them to look after the youngest. So even when they're going around the second turn, Baekhyun keeps an eye on Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun sees him first, a blur of movement just behind them, and he opens his mouth to warn Kyungsoo. It's too late, though, to do more than watch as someone careens into Kyungsoo, unable to stop as they head downhill.

Kyungsoo swerves, trying to avoid him, but he ends up bumping into Baekhyun instead. It sends the three of them off the track, safely out of the way from the passing bikes.

It also destroys any chance they had of winning.

Baekhyun gets up from the ground, dusting off his palms and knees. He barely notices the sting as his fingers brush over parts where his skin had been scraped off. "What happened back there?" he asks, not bothering to hide the agitation in his voice as he faces the offender.

Knocking other competitors off the track isn't uncommon in bike races, but the kid seems to be genuinely apologetic as he gets up. "I'm sorry," he says, his hands shaking a little as he rights his bike. "This is my first time racing, and I lost control somehow."

Baekhyun bites down on his lower lip, staring at him. Kyungsoo stops him from saying anything else, pulling on his sleeve and shaking his head with a small frown. It's not like Baekhyun had any hopes of winning, but at the very least, he hadn't wanted to come in last.

Baekhyun can't help but believe the kid, even sympathize the nervousness showing clearly in his eyes. He sighs, turning to face Kyungsoo. "You're not injured, are you?"

The skin of Kyungsoo's palms are torn and streaked with dirt. Baekhyun can't see the condition of his knees under the other's long pants, but he's already dreading having to explain this to Minseok. It's going to be a pain to clean out, and he knows that Minseok won't be happy about it.

"Look, I'm really sorry," the kid repeats, his eyes wide and earnest.

He looks so young that Baekhyun softens a little, stepping forward to put a hand on his bike. "If you want to do well next year, you should get better brakes. You can't just have good gears. You need to be able to stop, too."

Baekhyun curls his hand around the handlebars of his bike, ignoring the way it digs into his palms. "Let's get going," he says, waiting for Kyungsoo to catch up to him.

They bike back to the starting line, heading to the sides and waiting for the race to finish. It's the first time that Baekhyun hasn't been able to finish the race at all, but pride hardly matters when Minseok is walking towards them.

"What's wrong?" Minseok asks, his tone unusually sharp from worry.

Kyungsoo takes a small step forward, but Baekhyun holds him back with a hand on his wrist. "Can we not talk about this here?" he asks Minseok, glancing past him at the crowd. Their cheers are getting louder, and it won't be long before Jongdae crosses the finish line. If he crosses.

Baekhyun swallows, his attention diverted as he watches the bicycles approach the finish line. Jongdae isn't in the first pack, the top four, but he makes fifth place. Baekhyun drops his bike and runs up to Jongdae, catching him in a hug.

"Did you finish before me?" Jongdae asks, pulling back with a laugh.

"I walked back to the starting line." Baekhyun gives him a reassuring smile when Jongdae immediately becomes concerned. "We're fine, don't worry."

Jongdae looks past Baekhyun, glancing at Minseok and Kyungsoo. "Are you in trouble with Minseok?"

Baekhyun laughs, pulling on the sleeves of his shirt. "I guess so. Come on, let's go back."

Making fifth place in the race isn't easy, but the excitement of Jongdae's win is dampened by Kyungsoo and Baekhyun's fall. Minseok doesn't say anything on their way back, which makes Baekhyun very uncomfortable. He knows that Minseok never goes to the games for fun, that he'd never had a chance to really live his childhood because he was so busy taking care of Jongdae, Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo. There are times when Baekhyun wishes that he didn't constantly get into trouble, but this time, it really hadn't been his fault.

"You guys shouldn't keep doing this," Minseok says, when they're back inside their home. "You're going to get hurt sooner or later." He takes out the first aid kit, setting it on the table.

Baekhyun shifts uncomfortably, knowing that Minseok's words are directed at him. Part of it is because he's the oldest, but he knows that Minseok doesn't play favorites.

"Kyungsoo, sit down," Minseok says, pouring some rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball. "I'm not mad at you," he says, looking up with a smile when Kyungsoo hesitates.

Minseok carefully cleans Kyungsoo's wounds, slowly dabbing around the wounded skin. He pays attention to the smallest of Kyungsoo's winces, murmuring softly as he works.

Baekhyun watches him, sitting in a chair across from them. They've always been protective towards Kyungsoo, but seeing Minseok like this leaves a bitter taste in his mouth that he can't quite ignore.

"Do you want me to disinfect your wounds?" Minseok asks, looking up when he's finished bandaging Kyungsoo's knees.

"I'll do it myself." Baekhyun reaches for the disinfectant and bandages, using them as sparingly as he can. They have to steal medical supplies to get by, but it's better to properly bandage their wounds now than to get an infection later on.

"Maybe you guys should stop racing," Minseok says, unwrapping the bandage and laying the strips out for Baekhyun to use. "You can still participate in the smaller races, but just don't get involved with the bigger ones."

Sometimes, it's the smaller ones that are more dangerous. Since they're all friends, no one tries to knock anyone else off the course, but they race in dangerous conditions. They've raced over icy slopes during winter and around slippery turns during the spring.

Baekhyun bites his lower lip, hissing through his teeth as he disinfects his palm. Minseok reaches over to help him, wrapping a bandage around his hand. There's a small frown on Minseok's face as he works, tying a small bow on the back to keep the bandage in place.

"Okay," Baekhyun says, rolling his pants up to bandage his knees.

Minseok wipes the dirt around his wounds, pausing when Baekhyun cries out. "You okay?"

"It hurts." Baekhyun smiles when Minseok looks up at him. "Maybe you could kiss it better?"

"How old are you?" Minseok asks, but he complies, leaning forward to kiss Baekhyun's forehead.

Baekhyun can barely feel the brush of his lips against his bangs, but it's enough to keep him quiet until Minseok has finished bandaging his knee.



Some afternoons, they visit Minseok at work. He helps Mr. Song with preserving the crops they'd picked, storing the fruit in jars and drying the vegetables so they'd still be edible during the winter months.

Baekhyun stops by after school, dropping his books in the back of the store and calling out a greeting to Mr. Song.

"Is it just you?" Mr. Song asks, looking up from where he's doing the inventory.

"Yes, sir." Baekhyun washes his hands in the sink, putting on the uniform hanging by the door. He's been here often enough that Mr. Song no longer finds the need to give him the typical speech, and he could probably get a job here after he's finished with school.

Minseok is sorting through seeds, filling little packets and labeling them accordingly. It's early summer, and it won't be long before these seeds become of high demand. Things like gold and silver are of little importance in their community, which is mostly cut off from the other districts around them. Mr. Song's store usually accepts fresh produce in exchange for last season's harvest.

"Are you here to help?" Minseok asks, as Baekhyun sits on the table.

"No, I'm here to watch you work." Baekhyun laughs, jumping off the table when Minseok reaches out to hit him. "What do you want me to do?"

"Can you organize the jars in the back?" Minseok waves a hand at the shelves near the back of the store. "Make sure the shelves are stocked and the jars are in their proper places. I can handle the customers."

Baekhyun likes talking to the customers, and takes pride in his knack of advertising products and bargaining. Minseok usually assigns him to shelf work, though, saying that Baekhyun needs to learn all aspects of working in the store.

Restocking and reorganizing the shelves isn't particularly interesting work. Baekhyun has enough experience that he can usually finish pretty quickly, looking through the jars for any spoiled food and filling in gaps on the shelves.

He looks up when he hears Minseok calling out a greeting to someone, momentarily pausing his work to watch the interaction. Having a customer is always the most exciting part of working here, and even if Baekhyun is supposed to work in the back, he's always looking out for a way to cut into the conversation.

"Hello, Minseok." It's Joohyun, a young girl around Minseok's age. "I'm looking for some seeds for our vegetable garden."

"What kind of seeds?" Minseok gets up, walking with her to the wall where many packets are on display.

Baekhyun has stopped his work, watching Minseok and Joohyun from the gap between two jars. He's close enough to see the way Minseok's fingers brushing against Joohyun's as he hands her a packet of seeds, the way Joohyun's leaning close enough that her hair is falling on Minseok's shoulder.

"Baekhyun," Minseok calls, and Baekhyun jerks, wondering if he'd been caught staring at them. "Can you get more beans? They should be near the back of the store."

The beans are actually in a jar at the very top shelf. Baekhyun has to pull up a chair to reach for them. He can still hear Minseok and Joohyun talking in the front of the store, the sound of Minseok's laughter filling the small space, and it makes him wonder if they're talking about things other than just business.

It's not like he hadn't expected Minseok to keep in touch with his former classmates, but he hadn't expected Minseok to be this close around them, either. Even at home, Minseok rarely smiles, rarely initiates skin contact. There's no mistaking his familiarity around Joohyun.

Baekhyun looks around the shelf, trying to judge the situation, but he ends up tilting too far. The chair wobbles for a moment, the legs protesting from the shift of weight, and then it collapses, crashing to the side and sending him onto the ground.

"Baekhyun, are you okay?" Minseok asks, running over to him almost immediately.

"I'm fine," Baekhyun says. The only thought in his mind is relief that the jar of beans in his hands didn't break during the fall. He doesn't intend on spending the rest of his afternoon sweeping up beans from the ground.

He takes Minseok's hand and tries to stand, only to fall back to the ground again. Pain shoots up his right leg, and he cries out as he sets the jar of beans on the ground. "Minseok, I think I twisted something."

Minseok touches Baekhyun's ankle, stopping abruptly when Baekhyun hisses. "Can you get up? I'll carry you to the back of the store."

Baekhyun reaches out with his arms instead, and Minseok obliges him, picking him up and carrying him to the back of the store. It's been a while since they've done this. Minseok used to carry Jongdae and him around when they were younger, years before Baekhyun had gotten a few centimeters taller than Minseok. They make it to the back of the store, and Minseok complains about Baekhyun's weight even as he ruffles Baekhyun's hair and tells him to stay still.

Minseok leaves work earlier that day, sitting on the ground next to Baekhyun and bandaging his ankle. "I think you sprained your ankle. It's not that bad, but try not to put any weight on it."

Baekhyun turns his foot to the side, staring at the bandage. It won't be fun having to sit and watch everyone else around him run around, and it means that he'll probably miss any races and raids for a few weeks. At least it hadn't been worse; there's rarely a chance to get proper medical attention out here, unless if the case is really serious.

"How did you even fall off that chair?" Minseok asks, getting up and rolling the unused bandage up. "I thought I taught you how to stand on chairs a long time ago."

"Just lost my balance." Baekhyun hesitates, trying to judge Minseok's expression. "You and Joohyun... Do you guys see each other often?"

Minseok frowns, looking past Baekhyun as he seems to calculate his answer. "Here and there. I still bump into some of my old friends. It's not..." His eyes widen in realization, and he turns back to Baekhyun. "So that's why you fell out of the chair? Because you were watching us?"

"I wasn’t," Baekhyun begins, but Minseok cuts him off with a laugh.

"I can't believe you. I take my words back, you deserved to fall off the chair."

"Wait, Minseok." Baekhyun reaches out and grabs Minseok's wrist before he can walk away. "Actually," he says, "sometimes, it feels like I have to do something drastic to get your attention." There are times when Baekhyun feels like he can't compete, not when Kyungsoo is the youngest and automatically gets doted on, and Jongdae is Minseok's true younger brother.

"Baekhyun." There's a small frown on Minseok's lips, but beyond that, Baekhyun can't read his expression.

"Forget it." Baekhyun lets go of Minseok's wrist, looking down. "It's stupid."

"There's nothing between Joohyun and me," Minseok says, his tone leaving no room for questioning. "Baekhyun, you know that you can talk to me about anything." He sighs when Baekhyun doesn't respond, reaching down to grab his hand. "Come on, let's get you back home."



The first explosion of fireworks in the sky is breathtaking in its magnitude and color. It paints the dark sky in splashes of vivid red and blue sparks, letting out sputtering sounds as the light fades away.

The next round of fireworks is slightly less startling, bursting through the roof of the house and showering sparks onto the ground.

Baekhyun looks up at the sky, feeling an odd sense of accomplishment as he watches the explosion. They'd spent months working on the fireworks, looking through books and breaking into factories to obtain the necessary materials. They'd even gotten the colors right, and the explosions had been on time as well.

"Doesn't it look beautiful?" Jongdae asks, his smile glowing under the light of the fireworks.

"Yeah," Baekhyun says, jumping a little at the series of popping sounds as another firecracker explodes.

It hadn't been easy planning this. They'd needed not only the fireworks, but also a place to set them off. It had been somewhat difficult tracking down the owner of the house, a wealthy business owner who happened to be out tonight.

There are about a dozen of them scattered around the house, all watching the show. Baekhyun can see Kyungsoo a few meters ahead of them, his face tilted back towards the sky.

The sound of sirens ringing through the night, though, abruptly cuts off their cheers. Baekhyun can feel Jongdae stiffening next to him.

"Are the officers here?" Jongdae asks, turning to Baekhyun with wide eyes.

Baekhyun can't tell where the sirens are coming from. It's hard to tell when the estate is so large, accessible to the highways from all sides. He can see Kyungsoo tilting his head to the side, trying to listen. The other kids around them have already scattered, running away from the house in an attempt to escape the authorities. It makes Baekhyun slightly regretful that they hadn't been able to watch the grand finale of the show.

Even with the quickly approaching officers, Baekhyun's attention is momentarily diverted by the sound of a single rocket whistling through the night air. It explodes with all the glamor of a solo show, brightening the darkness with a brief spark of light.

"What are you doing here?"

Baekhyun turns, startled to find Minseok behind him. Kyungsoo and Jongdae are already no longer in sight, and he wonders if they'd already escaped. "What are you doing here?" Baekhyun asks. They hadn't told Minseok about their plans, and he hadn't known that Minseok would follow them all the way here.

"Hurry up. The police are going to get here soon." Minseok grabs onto Baekhyun's hand. "We have to leave."

They're about ten kilometers from their district. Looking back, that probably hadn't been a good idea, especially since the authorities would be on the lookout for young delinquents. They're in the seventh district, even past the ninth district where they usually go for their night raids. The citizens here are even better off, and they'd chosen somewhere that would leave even more of an impact.

Baekhyun knows that it would be best to leave now, but he still hesitates, standing in place as Minseok pulls on his arm.

"What are you doing?" Minseok hisses, pulling more insistently on Baekhyun's arm. "Are you crazy?"

Maybe he is, Baekhyun thinks. He's too impulsive sometimes, acting based on a momentary feeling without worrying about the consequences. He can't help thinking, though, that if he doesn't say it now, he might never have another chance. Right now, even with the exploding house not far away from them and the rapidly approaching sirens, he has enough courage that he thinks he can finally say what he'd bottled up for the past few years without fear of how things would turn out.

"Be my boyfriend," he blurts out, his heartbeat sounding louder in his ears than the racket around them.

Minseok freezes, his grip around Baekhyun's arm loosening and his eyes widening like he can't believe they're having this conversation right now. Really, Baekhyun can't believe it either, but the words are already hanging in the air between them, too heavy to be ignored.

"Be my boyfriend, or I won't go with you." Baekhyun holds on a little tighter to Minseok's hand, hoping that his palms aren't too sweaty from how nervous he's feeling. He's never been able to read Minseok that well, and he wonders if Minseok really would say no and leave. It's not like—

"Okay," Minseok says. He looks past Baekhyun's shoulder, tugging on his arm and pulling Baekhyun closer to him.

"What?" Baekhyun wonders if he'd misheard Minseok in the midst of the commotion, or if Minseok had misheard him.

"I said okay." Minseok turns impatiently. "Come on, we have to get out of here."

There's not enough time to ask for a definite answers. Baekhyun runs after Minseok, following him off of the house grounds. Behind them, the house goes up in flames with a roar, the light illuminating the entire estate. The sirens are almost a scream now, ringing in Baekhyun's ears even after they've reached the highway.

They follow the highway back to their district. A distance that would have only taken about forty minutes to cross takes about an hour as they duck into ditches and behind bushes every time a car passes them.

When they get back to their home, Jongdae and Kyungsoo are already there, sitting outside on the front steps. Jongdae jumps up the moment he sees them.

"Baekhyun, I thought you..." Jongdae's voice trails off as he glances at Minseok.

Baekhyun shakes his head, signaling Jongdae to keep his mouth shut as Minseok walks past them. He expects Minseok to scold them for being so reckless, for putting on such a dangerous show. Minseok doesn't say anything, instead heading straight to his bunk and collapsing on the mattress.

"Are you okay?" Jongdae asks, as Kyungsoo heads into the boxcar as well.

"I'm fine." Baekhyun stares up at the moon, listening as Jongdae walks into the boxcar as well. He still feels thrown off by what had just happened. His brain still hasn't caught up yet, making everything seem like a blur of events. He tries not to analyze them, instead pushing the thoughts aside as he steps into the boxcar.



Baekhyun finds Minseok sitting on the kitchen floor, sharpening a knife against a slab of rock. He hops onto a stool, watching Minseok work.

"Are you making more food?" he asks, watching as Minseok takes another knife and starts sharpening it.

"No." Minseok looks up, brushing his hair away from his face with the back of his hand. "There are apples in the cabinet, if you want something to eat."

"I'm not hungry." Baekhyun swings his legs, hesitating before deciding that he may as well say something. He'd been dodging around the subject for too long now, and it doesn't seem like Minseok is going to bring it up any time soon. "Hey, remember what you said that night?"

"I told you to study last night." Minseok puts the knives away, rolling his sleeves down. "Aren't your final exams coming up soon?"

"No, that's not what I meant." Baekhyun shifts uncomfortably in his seat when Minseok raises an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "At the fireworks, when you said that you'd be my boyfriend?"

Minseok leans his arms on the table, staring at Baekhyun with an unreadable expression. "I did say that, didn't I?"

"Minseok," Baekhyun says, hoping that his voice doesn't sound too demanding. He can't help worrying, though, that Minseok had only said it to get him to leave, that he hadn't really meant his words. "I know that I'm young, but if you're not seeing anyone else, can you consider...?"

"We're family," Minseok says, and Baekhyun stares down at his knees, swallowing around a block of emotions. He knew that Minseok saw him as a younger brother, and he'd been a fool to hope that there could be anything more.

"Hey, Baekhyun, look at me." Minseok pulls on Baekhyun's sleeve, smiling when he meets his eyes. "I'll give you five minutes a day."

"Five minutes?" Baekhyun repeats, unable to keep the disbelief from his voice.

"I'll give you more time if you do well on your final exams." Baekhyun makes a disgusted expression, and Minseok laughs at him. "Five minutes is plenty of time. Go take a shower," he says, stepping back. "Your five minutes start now."

Baekhyun opens his mouth, ready to complain, but Minseok turns away without leaving any room for argument. He closes his mouth instead, turning away and deciding not to waste any more time than necessary.

He's never been this pressed on time before, never been this motivated to save each possible second. With three of them having to share a bathroom, it's hard to get any hot water. This time, Baekhyun doesn't even try to turn on the hot water. He ducks into and out of the shower in record speed, and his hair is still dripping wet when he throws on his clothes.

"You're done already?" Minseok asks, as Baekhyun walks out of the bathroom. "Are you sure you're clean?"

Baekhyun nods, nearly jumping from surprise when Minseok walks up to him and hugs him, pressing his nose into his hair.

"Okay, I believe you." Minseok pulls back, laughing as he wipes a drop of water from Baekhyun's forehead. "So what do you want me to do?" He sits down on his bunk, leaning back on his palms.

Baekhyun glances up at the clock. He barely has a minute left before his time his up. "I don't know." He takes a step closer to Minseok, leaving an arm's length of distance between them. "I just want you to pay attention to me," he says, eyes flickering to the clock when Minseok keeps staring at him. "So don't look at anyone else."

The words had sounded better in his head. Baekhyun cringes, and the corners of Minseok's crinkle into a smile. "Sit down. Don't be afraid of me." He reaches out, pulling on Baekhyun's arm until Baekhyun sits down on the bed next to him. "Is this close enough?" he asks, wrapping an arm around Baekhyun's waist and resting his head against Baekhyun's shoulder.

"It's fine." They've known each other long enough that this position isn't unusual, but Baekhyun still feels stiff, knowing that this time is different.

"Your heart is beating so quickly." Baekhyun can feels Minseok's breath against his jaw, and it's mildly distracting to say the least. "You don't have to be so uncomfortable around me."

Baekhyun isn't, not usually, but this is uncharted territory for the two of them. Minseok isn't being very helpful, either.

He watches the second hand go around the clock. His five minutes are already up, but Minseok doesn't pull away. Minseok's fingertips are tapping a rhythm against Baekhyun's hip, and he's humming a song under his breath.

Baekhyun is the first one to pull away, sliding away from Minseok. "Jongdae and Kyungsoo are going to be back soon," he says, answering the unspoken question in Minseok's eyes.

"Do you not want them to know?" Minseok asks. His expression is guarded again, and Baekhyun looks away.

"Not yet." They aren't related by blood, but Minseok has looked after Baekhyun for so long that it's natural for Baekhyun to call him his older brother. Baekhyun hesitates, trying to gauge Minseok's expression. "Did you want to...?"

"Whatever you're comfortable with." Minseok cuts him off with a smile. "Is this your first time?"

"Yeah." Baekhyun wonders if he should ask if this is Minseok's first time in a relationship as well, but he doubts it, and really, he doesn't want to know.

There's a moment of silence between them before the front door opens. Baekhyun gets up as Jongdae and Kyungsoo walk in. From the suspicious look that Jongdae gives him, he hadn't been quick enough.

"It's so late," Minseok says, getting up as well. "Do you want anything to eat?"

"What do you have?" Jongdae asks, walking past them towards the kitchen.

It's like things are back to normal again, and Baekhyun lets out a breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding.



Baekhyun starts paying more attention in class, trying harder to finish the practice problems that his teachers hand him. He's gotten used to doing the bare minimum to get by in the past few years, scoring just high enough on the exams to go on to the next grade. Schoolwork has never been high on his list of priorities, not when there are so many extracurricular activities that he has to worry about.

It's easy to give them up, though. Baekhyun pretends not to see the curious looks that he receives when he makes up an excuse about being too busy to go to an event. Jongdae gives him a weird look the first few times Baekhyun makes an excuse, but Baekhyun hears Jongdae covering for him later, saying that Baekhyun doesn't have much time because he's helping Minseok fix their home.

Baekhyun has always had a short attention span, doodling in the margins whenever he zones out in the middle of a lecture. It's not like the teachers are particularly helpful, either. The subjects they teach are the bare minimum of the nation's requirements, and it's not like most of the students will actually use them in their lives. Their school, their entire district, can't compare with the rest of the nation when it comes to education. It's rare for someone from a disadvantaged family to be well educated, and it's mostly up to the individual to improve.

Baekhyun finds a lot more gaps in his knowledge than he'd expected, whole sections of a subject that his teachers had entirely glossed over. Going back and filling the spaces in isn't easy.

Most afternoons, he's so exhausted from sitting in class for the whole day that he's eager to get outside and release all of the stored up energy. This is the first time he's ever chosen to go back home so early, studying from the moment he gets back until their electricity goes out in the late evening.

Final exams are only a few months away, not nearly enough time for Baekhyun to learn all the information that he should have picked up in the past years in school. He tries anyway, studying and memorizing until the characters on the page blur before his eyes.

"You're still studying?" Minseok sits down next to Baekhyun, handing him a chunk of bread.

Baekhyun bites into the bread, barely tasting it as he scribbles some key words on a piece of paper. "Yeah," he mumbles around the mouthful. "Thanks," he adds, glancing up at Minseok briefly.

Minseok scoots closer, looking over his shoulder. It's mildly distracting, and Baekhyun has to go back and erase the mistake he'd made while copying a formula. "Don't overwork yourself. You should have some fun too."

"I'll have fun seeing the teacher's expression when I get a perfect score on my finals." Baekhyun sets down his pencil, turning in his chair so that he's facing Minseok. "Are you finished with your work?"

"Yeah." Minseok pushes a strand of hair out of Baekhyun's eyes. "You should get some rest now. There's still plenty of time."

"How long?" Baekhyun asks, already looking towards the clock.

Minseok follows his gaze. "Five minutes." He pauses, as though trying to remember something, and snaps his fingers. "I left the broom outside. Can you bring it back in?"

Baekhyun runs out of the room, nearly tripping over the shoes by the doorway. Minseok is consisting in giving him five minutes a day, but he's also consistent in making sure that Baekhyun treasures the five minutes and he never makes it easy for him.

It takes a while for Baekhyun to find the broom, which is leaning against the side of the house. When he tries to open the front door, though, it's locked. The back door is locked as well.

"Minseok!" he calls, knocking on the door. He knows that Minseok is probably laughing on the other side.

When Minseok does open the door, the five minutes are already up. He pats Baekhyun's arm apologetically, offering a smile as a sort of consolidation.

"I made you some food," Minseok says, and Baekhyun can't stay annoyed at him.

"Do you need help on anything?" Minseok asks, sitting next to Baekhyun and placing a plate of fresh fruit on the table.

Baekhyun has several practice problems circled on his worksheet, and he points to one of them. He'd tried it several times already, each time coming to a dead end, and he listens attentively as Minseok works it out for him, explaining each step.

"Do you get it?" Minseok looks up from the paper, and it's only then that Baekhyun realizes how close they are. He nearly goes cross eyed from maintaining eye contact with Minseok.

"I get it." Minseok doesn't look like he completely believes him, so Baekhyun says, "I really do."

"Good. I was just making sure you weren't just staring at my face." Minseok laughs, flicking Baekhyun's forehead. "Don't work too hard, okay?"

"I'm not," Baekhyun says, picking up his pencil as he starts working on another problem. Minseok looks over his shoulder, occasionally interrupting him to point out some of his mistakes.

This is the first time that Minseok has ever helped him study. Baekhyun has never tried this much before, choosing to skip subjects that he didn't understand rather than spending the time to understand them. Minseok is patient, though, making sure that Baekhyun understands a concept before moving on to the next one. It makes Baekhyun more determined to prove that Minseok's effort isn't wasted, that he wants this enough to give it his all.

Most nights, Baekhyun works by candlelight, sometimes even falling asleep over his books. Each time, he finds himself in his bed the following morning.

Baekhyun falls asleep at the table again that night, stirring when he feels someone carrying him away. He's too tired to open his eyes and hold on tighter to the person who's carrying him back to his bed. He has a vague notion of who it is, though, from the soft murmurs by his ear and the light kiss against his forehead.



It's dark by the time Baekhyun gets back. He finds Minseok outside on the front steps, mending some socks.

"Are those Jongdae's?" Baekhyun asks, sitting down next to Minseok.

"Yours too." Minseok hands Baekhyun his pair, and Baekhyun turns it over in his hands. The holes on the bottom are all gone, neatly patched up. "How are there so many holes? Do you not wear shoes?"

Baekhyun sets the socks back down, watching the needle flash under the dim light overhead. "I do. I'm not sure about Jongdae."

They sit in silence for some time. Minseok works quickly, his fingers almost a blur.

"Where are the others?" Minseok asks after a while, setting aside the socks and putting away the needle and thread.

"They'll be back in a few minutes." Baekhyun almost always leaves the events early or skips them altogether. He makes excuses about having to study for the final exams, but that's not always the case. "The mock exam results came out," he says, turning to face Minseok. "I got fifth in my grade."

Baekhyun has never scored so high before. He almost hadn't believed it when he'd saw his name on the top fifty list near the front of their school. He'd studied hard for the test and checked over the answers several times before handing it in.

It had all been worth it, he thinks, watching as Minseok's eyes widen before curving into a bright smile.

"That's great," Minseok says. There's unmistakable pride in his voice.

"Do I get anything?" Baekhyun asks, looking at Minseok expectantly.

"Do at least as well on the real exams and we'll talk." Minseok laughs when Baekhyun gives him an exaggerated pout, pushing his face away. "Don't look at me like that. You're not five years old."

Baekhyun stretches his legs out in front of him. He can touch the ground with the toe of his foot while sitting on the highest step. It's surprising how much he's grown. He can still remember struggling up the stairs when he was younger, having learned to walk on these very steps. "So I don't get anything at all?"

"I don't have any more food." Minseok reaches over, placing his hand over Baekhyun's. There had been a time when Minseok's hand was larger than Baekhyun's, and Baekhyun had held onto it when Minseok had first brought him to school. Baekhyun's fingers are slightly longer now, and Minseok's palm is rougher. "I'll give you one more minute."

That's still only six minutes, but Baekhyun doesn't try to protest. There are only a few more weeks until the final exams, until he no longer has to go to school. In the past years, through all the things that they've done, they've always planned them around school hours. It's almost frightening imagining all the free time they'd have without school, all of the responsibilities that come with adult life.

The light overhead suddenly cuts off, and Baekhyun jumps a little. They only get a few hours of electricity each day, carefully rationed, but the exact amount tends to vary from day to day. It's something that he's mostly gotten used to, but the suddenness with which the electricity comes and goes still manages to startle him sometimes.

Minseok laughs, having felt Baekhyun's reaction even without seeing him clearly. "Did it scare you?"

"A little," Baekhyun admits. He turns his hand over, slipping his fingers in the space between Minseok's. It's been a while since he's held anyone's hand like this, but Minseok doesn't pull away. "Why do you want me to do well on the exams?" he asks after a while. Minseok has always told them to study for a certain amount of hours each day, but he's never really worried about their class ranks. For the most part, it doesn't matter, not when most of them are going to stay right where they are for the rest of their lives. "It's not like it matters."

There have been rare instances when someone's scores had been high enough to get them out of the district entirely. It happens every few years, and becomes a sort of legend in the community. It's not so much that the tests are particularly hard, Baekhyun has found. For the most part, the students don't even bother trying. It's better to stay where they were born in rather than try to grovel their way to the top.

"Where do you want to be in ten years?" Baekhyun looks over at Minseok, but the older isn't looking at him. He's staring into the distance, eyes fixed on a point in the darkness beyond them.

"Ten years?" Baekhyun hasn't given much thought to the future. As far back as the recorded history of his family goes, all the way back to the Fifth Treaty, they've all lived in the eleventh district. There are rumors that there hadn't been districts before the Fifth Treaty, but it's impossible to determine when the war had destroyed nearly all records. "I don't know. Here?"

"That's it?" Minseok says, and Baekhyun doesn't understand why he sounds so disappointed.

Baekhyun has imagined, during their raids into other districts, living in them one day. Even district nine, the closest district next to them, is considerably better. He can't even imagine what district one would be like. Those are just empty dreams, though, and it's not like he lacks anything in his life right now. "I don't need anything else. Why?"

For a moment, he thinks that Minseok is going to say something else, but Minseok only laughs. "No reason." Before Baekhyun can ask him anything else, Minseok nudges him. "Look. There's stars."

That's impossible, Baekhyun starts to say. The skies are mostly cloudy, even during the brightest times of the day. It's a kind of blessing, in a way, since they'd learned about times when thousands of people had been burned from the intensity of the sun's rays.

But there are little lights in the dark sky, barely visible in the expanse above them. Baekhyun tilts his head back, and he finds that the more he stares at them, the more stars he finds. It makes him wonder how much he's missed in the past years, and how much more he could find in the future.



The door to the bathroom swings open loudly, and Baekhyun watches through the slightly distorted mirror as Chanyeol enters.

"I thought I'd find you here," Chanyeol says, leaning against the wall next to the door.

Baekhyun glances at him again as he grabs a paper towel to dry his hands. "Can't say the same about you." He tosses the towel into the trash, raising his eyebrows as he stares back at Chanyeol.

"Where have you been lately?" Chanyeol asks, his smile too large and too bright.

Baekhyun smiles back, letting his hands fall by his sides. If there's anything he's learned in the past years, it's how to bluff his way through tough situations without showing his weaknesses. "I've been busy. You know how life can get."

"Busy enough to miss everything? I heard that you haven't been to any races or raids in weeks. That's a little unusual, isn't it?" Chanyeol's voice is low, almost dangerous as he continues. "I heard you got fifth on the tests last week. That's a pretty remarkable accomplishment, isn't it?"

"Must sound incredible to you." Baekhyun can hear some voices outside, muffled through the walls, but no one tries to come in. It's unusual, especially between classes, for there to be so few people in the bathroom. He has a vague notion why, but he swallows his anxiety.

"It sounds useless to me." Chanyeol pushes himself off the wall, and if there had been any question about what he was going to do, there isn't now with the way he's walking towards Baekhyun. "I hope you don't think that's going to help you survive. You think a few extra numbers next to your name will get you anything?"

Baekhyun smiles, looking up and maintaining eye contact with Chanyeol. "Did I say it would?"

Chanyeol's laugh is harsh and abrupt, leaving in a sudden burst and disappearing just as quickly. "You're already putting up an attitude around us. Why? You think you're better?"

Baekhyun opens his mouth to reply, but he sees the way Chanyeol's muscles tense ever so slightly. He doesn't hesitate in drawing his arm back and punching Chanyeol, letting the element of surprise push the taller boy backwards. It gives him a few seconds' advantage, and Baekhyun grabs onto them without hesitation, landing a few more punches before Chanyeol regains his footing.

Chanyeol is physically bigger than him and a little stronger, but Baekhyun is quick on his feet, knowing where and how to hit to conserve his energy and make his blows most effective. Despite Chanyeol's apparent advantage, they're pretty evenly matched. It's been a while since Baekhyun has last fought one on one against someone, but the moves come back to him almost naturally.

There's no telling how the fight would have gone, since the bathroom door swings open. Jongdae comes in, closely followed by a few teachers and a group of students.

"What are you doing?" Jongdae pulls Baekhyun away, his hand firm around Baekhyun's arm to hold him in place. "What were you thinking?" he hisses, lowering his voice slightly.

Baekhyun looks up, brushing his hair away from his eyes. There are too many people between him and Chanyeol, so he can't see the other boy anymore. He still feels oddly satisfied, though, even as he turns his head to the side and spits out a mixture of blood and saliva. "Chanyeol started it. I was here first and he walked in."

Jongdae sighs, reaching up and gently touching Baekhyun's cheek. His touch is light, but it still makes Baekhyun hiss and flinch away. "Come on, let's get you back home. Minseok can fix it up for you."

Baekhyun freezes at the mention of Minseok. "Do we have to go back now? I can get it bandaged at school. It's okay."

"I'll take care of it." Jongdae squeezes Baekhyun's shoulder. "Minseok's going to find out anyway. You might as well tell him sooner than later."

Baekhyun closes his eyes, feeling a sudden wave of nausea. He knows that it's true, but he still doesn't want to face Minseok. He hadn't thought about any of the consequences, nothing more than the need to prove himself when he'd fought Chanyeol. "But Jongdae..."

"Come on, you'll be fine," Jongdae says, giving Baekhyun a reassuring smile as he pushes him out of the bathroom.

No one stops Baekhyun as he walks out of the school. It's not like the teachers really care anyway, not when they'd gone through the same thing when they were kids. More than anything, though, Baekhyun is worried about Minseok's reaction. As much as he knows that his encounter with Chanyeol had been inevitable, he still doesn't want to face the definite disappointment that will be on Minseok's face.

Minseok is in the shop when Baekhyun walks in. He calls out a cheerful greeting, only to stop abruptly when he sees Baekhyun. "What's wrong?" Minseok asks, frowning in concern as he steps closer.

Baekhyun looks away, his hands closing into fists by his side. "I got into a fight."

He hears Minseok's sharp intake of breath, and the taste of disappointment is sharper than the metallic traces of blood in his mouth. "Baekhyun—"

"I wasn't trying to pick a fight," Baekhyun interrupts him quickly. He knows that it's a fruitless argument, though. It takes two to have a fight, and he had been the one to punch Chanyeol first.

"Let's get you cleaned up." Minseok is silent as he wipes Baekhyun's face and hands him ice. There aren't any open wounds, just bruises that will be all too apparent the following morning. "What happened?"

"The usual." Baekhyun pressed the ice to the corner of his mouth. "You know."

Minseok looks down, sighing as he puts away the medical kit. "You didn't have to retaliate."

And maybe Baekhyun didn't. He only would have endured a few bruises and a few weeks of hearing people call him degrading names, all because he wouldn't fight back.

"Baekhyun, you have to think it through. Just because everyone else says it's the best thing to do doesn't always mean it's the best option." Minseok gets up. "I'm only giving you three minutes."

That's barely any time, but Baekhyun knows there's no use complaining when he sees Minseok's eyes. He looks away instead, swallowing the words he had been about to say.



Baekhyun has gotten used to leaving straight for home or for Minseok's work place after school, so he's surprised when Jongdae stops him one afternoon.

"You don't have to go," Jongdae says, standing in front of Baekhyun's desk as the other students around them leave the classroom. "Kyungsoo's going to help Minseok today."

There's a kind of challenge in Jongdae's eyes. Baekhyun chooses to ignore it, nodding as he picks up his books. "Okay."

Jongdae relaxes, falling in step next to Baekhyun as they walk out of the classroom. "Let's go to the lake. You seem stressed lately."

"I'm not stressed," Baekhyun says. He kind of is, though, from having to concentrate so much on his studies.

In a way, he's kind of thankful that Jongdae had sought him out. It's been too long since he'd last spent time with Jongdae alone.

Baekhyun sits next to Jongdae on the edge of the lake, dipping his feet in the water. They used to come here all the time as children, especially during the summer. It's already autumn now, and there are leaves covering the surface of the water.

"What have you been doing lately?" Baekhyun asks, breaking the oddly heavy silence that had fallen over them. It's strange, since they're rarely this quiet when they're together. Unless if the situation really calls for it, they're always talking or fooling around.

"You know, the usual." Jongdae makes a vague gesture with his hand before turning to Baekhyun. "That should be my line."

Baekhyun laughs, kicking at a leaf in the water. "I've been preparing for the final exams."

"Why?" Jongdae looks genuinely curious, like he can't understand why Baekhyun would bother.

Baekhyun still doesn't know why. He thinks back to the incident with Chanyeol and his conversation with Minseok not long ago. "Because I can," he says instead. "I just wanted to see how well I could do."

He'd even surprised himself with how many questions he could answer and how highly he could score on the tests. It's strange, since he's never done as well before. Then again, he's never been as motivated before.

"It's because of Minseok, isn't it?" Jongdae says. His voice is too careful, like he's afraid of venturing onto a touchy subject.

Baekhyun considers lying or skirting around the conversation. He hadn't wanted to tell Jongdae or Kyungsoo just yet, had been afraid of their reactions, but he's never kept anything from Jongdae before. "Yeah." He wriggles his toes under the water, staring at the ripples across the surface of the lake. "I didn't think that he'd ever agree to it when I asked him. The tests aren't that hard."

Jongdae shakes his head, laughing loudly. "I never would have thought that you'd actually start studying."

"Me neither," Baekhyun admits. He's never had the best memory, and even his teachers had been surprised by his sudden improvement. "But it's not that big of a deal, and Minseok's already given up so much for us, you know?"

Minseok had always been near the top of his class. He'd scored high enough on his final exams that he could have gone on to another district and continued his studies if he'd wanted to. Minseok had turned down the offers, though, claiming that he needed to take care of his younger brother. It wasn't just Jongdae; even before Minseok had become a teenager, he'd been taking care of Baekhyun too, and later he'd taken Kyungsoo in.

"So you and Minseok are really together?" There's nothing accusing in Jongdae's tone, and Baekhyun nods.

"Kind of, but sometimes it feels like he's just humoring me." Baekhyun breaks off with a laugh. "I don't know." Minseok wouldn't agree to Baekhyun's requests just because he asked, especially not to something as serious as this. But sometimes, if feels like Baekhyun is the only one with these feelings, especially when Minseok only gives him so many hours per day to be his boyfriend and when Minseok still treats him like his younger brother.

Jongdae understands, though. He's been a witness of Baekhyun's one sided admiration for years now, and he's long since given up teasing Baekhyun about it. "He wouldn't do that," Jongdae says, leaning into Baekhyun. "He just wants the best for you."

"I know." Baekhyun dips his hands into the water, refreshingly cool to the touch. "I mean, it's just been so long."

Baekhyun had accepted that his feelings for Minseok would be unreturned years ago. In a way, it still seems almost unreal that Minseok is his.

"How long has it been?" Jongdae reaches underwater, his fingers brushing Baekhyun's. He brings his hand out again, splashing the drops of water in Baekhyun's face.

Baekhyun ducks a little too late, wiping the water out of his eyes as he answers. "Two months, I think."

Jongdae's eyes widen, and he pushes Baekhyun into the water. "I can't believe you didn't tell me."

Baekhyun cries out when he enters the shockingly cold water. "I was going to!" He finds his balance on the slippery rocks underfoot. "I just didn't want it to change anything because we're all family." He reaches out and grabs onto Jongdae's arm, pulling him into the water as well.

"What was that about us being family?" Jongdae says, but he's laughing as he falls into the lake.

"You pulled me in first." Baekhyun tries to duck the water that Jongdae throws at him. Most of it ends up hitting him anyway. He's almost completely drenched and it will only get colder as the sun goes down, but Baekhyun only has the thought of getting Jongdae back as he tackles the other.

They both end up falling into the water. It's hard to get a good grip and a solid footing, and after some time of pulling each other underwater, they get out of the lake.

"It's cold." Baekhyun tries to shake the water out of his hair. His clothes are sticking to his skin and there's not much sunlight left.

Jongdae takes his shirt off, laughing when Baekhyun complains that he's only doing it to impress Seulgi. He doesn't deny it, though, and Baekhyun files that information away as they start walking back home.

"I should be giving you the whole brother talk," Jongdae says, shifting his books into his other hand so he can throw an arm around Baekhyun's shoulder. "I should threaten you and make sure you don't ever hurt Minseok or anything like that."

"I won't be the one hurting anyone," Baekhyun says. He doubts that he has the upper hand in the relationship, anyway.

Jongdae turns to look at Baekhyun, a contemplative frown on his lips like he's wondering if he should say anything else. In the end, he doesn't, and hums a song under his breath as they walk.



"I'm back," Baekhyun says, stepping out of his shoes by the door.

Minseok looks up, quickly putting away the papers that he'd been reading. It looks like a newspaper, something that Minseok usually calls a waste of paper and ink. Minseok doesn't seem to want to Baekhyun to see the papers, though, so Baekhyun doesn't ask. "Are Jongdae and Kyungsoo with you?"

"They're going out." There are celebrations now that the final exams are over. Baekhyun usually loves taking part in them and he knows that it won't look good if he doesn't go, but celebrations often last until the dawn of the next day.

"Why are you back already?" There's a small smile on Minseok's lips, like he already knows the answer.

"I got my final exam results today." Baekhyun sits down across from Minseok, putting his books down on the ground and pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket.

He'd scored within the top five percentile of the nation. It had been higher than Baekhyun had dared to hope.

"That's great." Minseok folds the paper, sliding it back across the table. "I'm proud of you."

"That's it?" Baekhyun puts the paper back into the envelope.

"Is there more?" Minseok grins, and it's obvious that he already knows what Baekhyun wants.

"You told me that you'd give me more time." Baekhyun doesn't want to bother Minseok about a promise that he doesn't want to keep, but he can't hide the doubt in his voice. He hasn't even really requested three minutes from Minseok for the past few days, spending most of his free time preparing for the exam. He doesn't want to think that all the time had been put to waste, but he still can't help wondering how the numbers on the page can help him.

"I did, didn't I?" Minseok laughs, getting up and heading to the kitchen. He takes a pack of snacks from the cabinet, pouring them onto a plate. "I'll give you twenty-six minutes."

It's not a lot, but it's considerably more than what Minseok had given Baekhyun before. "Really? No other tricks involved?"

"None." Minseok puts the plate before Baekhyun, picking up a cracker and biting into it.

Baekhyun stares at him for a moment before deciding that he may as well read his boundaries. He leans forward, biting onto the other end of the cracker. His lips brush against Minseok's, and Minseok's eyes are wide as Baekhyun pulls away. "Sorry." Baekhyun smiles, swallowing his mouthful. "Is that okay or—"

Minseok cuts him off when he leans forward and pressed his lips against Baekhyun's. It's soft, almost hesitant, and Baekhyun can't help wondering if he's doing the right thing, if he should be reciprocating more.

Minseok puts a hand on the back of his head, capturing Baekhyun's lower lip between his before letting it go and pulling back. He smiles, his lips unusually shiny and red, and Baekhyun's eyes linger on them a little too long before he meets Minseok's eyes again.

"Finish the crackers." It might just be the lighting, but Baekhyun doesn't think that he's imagining the faint pink tinge on Minseok's cheeks. "Stop looking at me like that," he adds, snapping his fingers before Baekhyun's eyes.

There are still so many boundaries between them, so many things that they have yet to talk about. Sometimes, it seems like they can't possibly be together, but Baekhyun has never bothered to worry about the far future.

There are still many things that he doesn't know, little details about Minseok that he'd never paid attention to before. It's equally thrilling and scary, but he isn't rushed to learn all of them now. There's still time, and even if what they have isn't perfect, he knows that Minseok will be there to help him through the worst of it all.



Baekhyun almost trips over Jongdae’s backpack when he walks into the trailer. He kicks it aside, toeing off his shoes.

“You’re back already?” Minseok says. It takes a moment for Baekhyun’s eyes to adjust, for him to see Minseok sitting by a small lamp in a corner of the room. He’s holding a piece of paper in his hand, a stack of envelopes on the table next to him.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun sits on top of his mattress, facing Minseok. “What are you looking at?”

Minseok sets down the paper in his hand. Baekhyun almost expects him to put it away, the same way he’d been hiding the papers this past week, but he hands it to Baekhyun instead. “I got this in the mail the other day.”

Most of the papers they receive through the mail are bills, so Baekhyun hadn’t been particularly interested. But even from the first glance, this isn’t like any of the papers they’d received in the mail. The postmark on the top of the page is different, and it’s addressed to Baekhyun.

“This is…” Baekhyun looks up at Minseok, trying to read his expression in the dim light.

“An admission letter,” Minseok finishes for him, shuffling through the envelopes. “The school’s really prestigious, and I think it’d be good experience.”

Baekhyun’s never heard of the school before, but he knows that getting any school from district seven to send him an admission letter isn’t a simple task. “You want me to go?” he asks, even though he already knows the answer. Minseok has been looking through these letters for weeks already, and Minseok wouldn’t waste his time if he didn’t have a motive in mind.

“It’s best for you,” Minseok says. He crosses his legs, leaning back against the wall. The light barely reaches his face, and he looks so small, half hidden in the shadows. “I can’t give you any more than this.” He waves his hand, discrediting their situation with a simple gesture.

Baekhyun drops the paper onto the mattress. “I don’t want anything else.” He’s waiting for Minseok to smile and say that it was just a suggestion, that things are fine just the way they are. But Minseok just stares back at him, waiting for Baekhyun to continue. “I’ve never thought about living anywhere else but here,” he says, and it’s true. He’s imagined going to other districts before, exploring new places without being afraid of being caught in forbidden territory, but this trailer, as small and shabby as it is, has his first memories, his fondest memories.

Minseok runs a hand through his hair, his sigh too loud in the room. “We can’t stay here forever. I’ve already applied for a position in the military.”

Baekhyun flinches, wondering if he’s hearing Minseok correctly. “You what?”

“The environment will be better, especially for Kyungsoo. It won’t be—”

“Especially for Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun repeats, unable to keep the incredulity out of his voice. “Why would you choose to enlist?”

There’s always a shortage of soldiers, and there have been rumors that there might be another war soon. Baekhyun can see the logic in Minseok’s decision, since the families of all soldiers, no matter their rank, would be generously provided for. It would be better for Kyungsoo to grow up safe and protected, considering his past, but it’s not like there’s a perfect place in this world.

“Who else would accept me?” Minseok sounds so tired that Baekhyun wants to simply tuck him into bed and forget about everything else. It’s too late to back out of this conversation, though, not when so many things are at stake. “It’s been years since I took my final exams, and I don’t have any experience.”

Because it’s simple to put a gun in a man’s hands and turn him into a coldblooded machine. It’s even better if the government has control over the man’s family. There’s so much more to the world than just black and white. Baekhyun turns away, blinking quickly.

The room is too silent, the uncomfortable tension stretching around them. Then Minseok gets up, sitting down next to Baekhyun on the bed. “I’m sorry,” he says, tentatively putting a hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder.

Baekhyun wants to say so much more, wants to stay angry at Minseok, but he rests his head on Minseok’s shoulder instead. He curls into the space in Minseok’s arms, closing his eyes as he feels the rise and fall of Minseok’s chest.

“You knew.” Baekhyun lets Minseok rub his back slowly, murmuring quiet words into his ears the way he used to when Baekhyun was younger, when he’d wake up with nightmares. It’s been years since then, and Baekhyun has almost completely pushed them out of his mind, but he still remembers the nights he’d wake up with screams ringing in his ears, with the smell of fire that was all too close, too real.

They’re all victims of the war, all orphans of parents who had died to protect the country, of parents who had been killed by their country’s own soldiers. Most of Baekhyun’s memories of the past are hazy and chaotic, but he still clearly remembers the first time he’d seen Kyungsoo. They’d found the little boy by the roadside, left to die as prisoners of war were led through the village. It had taken months to nurse Kyungsoo back to health, and even afterwards, Kyungsoo never spoke. His eyes alone, though, were enough to tell them about the horrors of the war.

As much as Baekhyun wants to deny it, he can understand Minseok’s decision—Minseok, who has always thought of others before himself. Jongdae and Kyungsoo could live the rest of their lives in peace, well provided for in a better district. Jongdae was Minseok’s younger brother, and Kyungsoo was too young to be on his own. But Baekhyun—Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to fit in that picture.

It’s too much to process at once, but Baekhyun knows that the decision has already been made, even if they haven’t fully acknowledged it yet. He chooses to set it aside, listening instead to the steadiness of Minseok’s heartbeat, the apologies in Minseok’s gestures as he holds Baekhyun closer.

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun says, and he isn’t sure what he’s responding to. He just knows that, even if this isn’t how he’d imagined things would turn out, it’ll be alright.

Minseok takes his hand, and it takes Baekhyun a moment to realize that he’s sliding something onto his finger, to see the ring glittering under the lamplight.

Baekhyun looks up at Minseok, the question caught in his throat. He recognizes the ring, although he’s only seen it a few times. It had belonged to Minseok’s mother, and Minseok usually keeps it in a small box hidden away, reluctant to even wear it. There’s more than mere monetary value in the ring; it’s one of the few things that Minseok has left of his parents.

“It’s a promise ring.” Minseok answers his unspoken question, smiling slightly. “My father gave it to my mother, and my mother gave it to me.”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, leaving it in his smile and the fondness in his eyes. Baekhyun doesn’t answer aloud, hiding it in the dreams of yesterday and the warmth between their palms.